Starbucks

I must have some sick infatuation with Starbucks.  For years I used to call them StarYucks, I was completely against the chain, always looked for the mom and pop barista’s.  I had an appreciation for the finer coffee, that included fair trade, organic, etc etc blah blah.  I knocked anyone and everyone down for even having a StarYucks….and then WHAAAAM-O! WTF?  Here I am, the man on his ever so high horse, pulling into a Starbucks?!  Starting off with just a venti coffee.  Progressing to a Venti Black Eye.  Moving in ever so close to the point of no return, an old fashion chocolate donut with my Venti Black Eye.  Wait what is this, Quad Shot Soy Latte and a blueberry scone please.  Oh no, let’s just get down and dirty and call me a Starbucks Whore….A Venti Espresso Truffle with a cinnamon twist please.  OH for crying out loud where is my pimp and why am I doing this to myself????

Seriously now, what happened?  I can tell you what happened, but then you will just look at me and say, “Yup another lame @ss excuse.”  It is all very well true, you see……..*drum roll* —lil boo— OMG how could I ever pass the blame onto him?!?!  Easy, he’s the shortest ) that is just evil!  Really, living outside of town, commuting in, doing the college deal, working constantly (so it seemed) and raising a newborn and now a toddler….well it’s simple…you need JAVA!!!  Sometimes I was too tired (lazy) to make the pot the night before and it was easy to stop by and visit the twin-tailed siren and make the deal.  It became so apparent that I was frequenting there often enough that by the time I walked in the front door and made it to the counter my order was ready.  Time for a new location, just way tooooo freaky for my liking.

New location, even more freakishness!  It was really bad, I found a drive-thru Starbucks.  I visited that place more times then a fly on a cow turd.  I would pull up and start my order, Venti Bla….good morning, running a little late?  That’s okay, it’s ready for you pull on up.  Holy crapola, what if I wanted something different?  They even told me that one day someone else ordered the same thing except one item and that they were asking why I (well the other person) didn’t want it today.  Then they realized it wasn’t me.  YIKES!!!!

This went on for at least two years between the two locations.  After we moved to our new home (far away from either crack house I made the notion to stay away from Starbucks.  Well, I failed!!!  I found my pimp, crack dealer, mistress catch my drift.  My twin-tailed siren Greek goddess waited patiently for my arrival.  Just like the Betty Ford Clinic waiting for Patsy Stone.  What have I done?  Where am I going?  Why is this happening to me?  I used to be so content.

I can not say this will all come to an end.  Life as we have come to understand it, informs us that there will always be a Starbucks, waiting ever so patiently just around the corner to help those desperate dad’s and mom’s in their time of need.  Open from the weeeeeee hours in the morning all the way until the sun sets in the far west starting a new day on another continent.  This is just life as we know it to be in Suburbia or as I like to call it, “The Grid”.

~daddy bookins